Bad Day? Rant/Vent here!
Hey just so you know I responded to your discord post.
[Image: C6WcSq8VAAA1XiK.png] [Image: 58bf3199c9b3883486684133.gif]
Reply
ughhhh
lately, i've been really super stressed, anxious and sad. I really, really think I might have some kind of mental problem, but my mom is so extremely anti medicine she won't take me to see a theripist, and then keeps contributing to my problems with her passive-aggressive rudeness...

And on top of that, I'm turning 18 in less than a year, but I have no idea what to do with my life, or how to actually deal with adult life. I've never had a job, don't even have my license yet, have next to no social skills, and have lived such a sheltered life that I'm not sure if I'll be able to function on my own... (at least my mom won't be able to keep me from getting vaccines and the help that I need...)

sorry to rant and dump all this on you guys, but I needed to get this off my chest.
I'm about as edgy as a ball of raw cookie dough 
[Image: chocolate_by_cuppycakekitty-d9lkljt.png][Image: cat_puns_by_cuppycakekitty-d9kuqy6.png]
Reply
Seriously seer it is totally okay, I know exactly how you feel. I am currently in the same boat even with the mental problems ( I have a terrible memory lack of focus and am slower at accomplishing tasks such as tests, driving and even simple chores. Don't feel bad about complaining because I totally understand and feel the same stress. If you ever need to talk I'm all ears.
[Image: C6WcSq8VAAA1XiK.png] [Image: 58bf3199c9b3883486684133.gif]
Reply
Exactly. If you need to get it off your chest, Seer. Go ahead and do it. It helps.

While my day was better today, I didn't have such a good one yesterday. I just started classes, but it was only yesterday that the realization hit me that my elective course would involve...particularly explicit material. I went into a complete panic, trying to get everything in order so I could swap the elective for a new one without trouble. The deadline for swaps was, fortunately, tonight, so I should be okay, but that was such a horrible experience with all that rushing around. I never want to go through again.
Reply
thanks guys. i'm feeling a bit better today.
I'm about as edgy as a ball of raw cookie dough 
[Image: chocolate_by_cuppycakekitty-d9lkljt.png][Image: cat_puns_by_cuppycakekitty-d9kuqy6.png]
Reply
We lost power from the hurricane yesterday and the anticipated restoration time for my area isn't going to be until Sunday. Meanwhile, it's almost 90 degrees out and it'll continue climbing for the remainder of the week. These past two days alone have been horrible. I could hardly sleep last night from the heat, I had to wash my hair in the sink because everyone is afraid the water will be shut off next, and I can't do my online work because the Internet is out. I'm crying from the stress of it all and how we'll be forced to endure this for another five days.
Reply
Ugh I'm done I'm so fucking done. I'm mentally slapping myself right now because I always feel like someone begging for everyone to pity me because boohoo my life sucks when there are millions of kids with crappier lives than me. I'm so done trying to be discreet about my problems right now because living with these things has mentally damaged me in ways I can't even explain.

Why do I cry so easily? Why am I constantly unfocused and forgetful? Why do I have such a negative attitude? If people in my real life knew what I am dealing with and actually took the time to understand it wouldn't be hard to figure out why I am the way I am.

My dad lost his job, lost his truck, we can barely support ourselves, parents are constantly yelling at each other multiple times a week and now I have to work 5 times as hard to get scholarships for college because god knows my family can't do shit to help me even though I've lost so much confidence in myself I don't even feel like I can even get into college.

All of this because my dad is a fucking alcoholic to the point of he is killing himself causing the rest of the family to constantly tell me and my mom of everything we are doing wrong and causing my mom to be driven to madness where she is constantly angry mostly getting mad at me. While I sit back and watch and I'm expected to be okay.
My family hates the sarcastic negative shy quiet introverted person I've become. And all the anger about it has broken me to a point where I have little to no confidence in myself I don't feel like I can achieve anything and everyone's compliments are lies because if I can't even be the person my family and friends want me to be how can I achieve anything.

My grades are not good enough, the way I dress and act isn't good enough. my personality isn't good enough. I'm not good enough. Why am I even alive I'm a disappointment to everyone and an embarrassment to myself. I'm expected to be different than what I am and maybe I would have turned out different but after countless nights of crying myself to sleep, mentally beating myself up for more reasons than I can possibly remember and wishing my damn heart could have fucking killed me when I was born it's pretty obvious that I'm not okay and there's no one I can go to for help and no one I can talk to I'm completely on my own.

I never even wanted to write this here but I'm so broken right now I don't even know why I did this yell at me or whatever you want I don't really care anymore just add it to the list of problems people have with me including my parents, family, friends, band mates. I'm sorry if I wasted your time with this or if your annoyed with another HP complaining post hell everyone else in my life is. I'm practically sick of myself but really I just don't care anymore so what the hell.
[Image: C6WcSq8VAAA1XiK.png] [Image: 58bf3199c9b3883486684133.gif]
Reply
Oh my God, please don't say that, Honeypants! I know it's difficult right now, but don't ever beat yourself up over things that are beyond your control.  You say that you have no one to talk to, but if there was ever a time to set an appointment with a school counselor, this is the time.   And if you can't get an appointment, talk to your friends here.  These are not feelings that you should be suppressing.
Reply
I strongly second AMGF's opinions. And I know this from experience HP. I was stuck within a fucked up family dynamic for far too many years (I'm not going into any variety of details since this is not about me but I need to make the point:) and things didn't get better until I started seeing a counsellor. I'll have to admit it took a LOT of time, and there are still many problems but it did get seriously better.

And it doesn't have to be from school, friends are indeed better than no one (and I'll point out strongly that no HP, we are not annoyed when you talk about your problems and there are no 'worse offs' here or anywhere for that matter, this is the place to bring these things up and it's perfectly natural) but there are also websites, helplines and other options if you feel you can't/won't see a counsellor.

And another thing:

1: You are never alone and it is not helpless.
2: The Future is not hopeless, it really can surprise you in just how many ways and may not be what you expect but one thing for sure is: you will be able to get into college HP, one way or another.
3: You are amazing and wonderful. This is something I honestly believe and think at the end of the day you need to hear. The problem is getting yourself to believe it again, with time and help you will.
[Image: 101860422_stidenterprise3.gif][Image: tumblr_nkgc1yQOXU1sccu9co1_400.gif][Image: tumblr_nkgc1yQOXU1sccu9co5_400.gif]
Reply
If the environment at home is proving too distracting for you, Honeypants, I'd consider attending a study hall after school. If that's not available, study at a friend's or relative's home.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)